|The Foam Roller, A drear friend of mine.|
Yesterday was obviously Sunday, the Lord was so sweet to convict me and open my eyes a little bit to see more of how sinful I truly am. How my lust for pleasure, be it found in admiration, food, accomplishments, or whatever, they are all sins and a direct sign of the battle I am engaged in, this fight of faith. This fight in my heart is between me and me! I am seriously my worst enemy! Spiritually and therefore physically. I can justify anything an everything in my own mind. Just give me a few seconds. hence my need for a savior... and His word! haha...My pastor Austin Duncan was so helpful in communicating the traits of a bad example from Philippians 3. How the bad example listed there is one seeking their own desire, unashamed of their own sin. Now obviously i was convicted in many other areas of my life where I seek my own desire but as I was talking with the Lord this morning before my run, he opened my eyes to see how I continually seek my own desires, even while running! The desire to quit, to not run heartily as unto the Lord!!
Now by the grace of God He has given me desires that do please Him. But I would be lying to you if I told you I never desired anything sinful =). So I wont... The Lord already knows my sin so its not a shock if you get hear about some of it too, right sinner?? ;) Hopefully to help spur you on to run he race of faith harder. Shedding any sin that you and I are entangled in is a must. Anyways, I listened to CJ Mahaney's sermon " A Cry form the Cross" and the Lord couldn't have orchestrated a better sermon for me to listen to as I was running today! HAHA!! The reality the Jesus Christ SCREAMED the scream of the damned on the cross (the scream I should scream in Hell for my own sin) was a major motivation to run. Christ suffered for me. I don't know even a tinch of what Christ suffered on the cross. Physical pain... YES, but the pain that would be inflicted on Him by HOLY God for the sins of His elect!! MASSSIIIVEE!!! I'm so self-centered that I feel alone sometimes, YA RIGHT! Jesus was alone, actually forsaken by the Father. I have never been forsaken by my Maker! What a reality that drives me to embrace any suffering in my life. I will never feel the punishment of my sins. Wow... all I may feel from today is the pain of a body beaten up by a marathon. This cannot even compare.I honestly felt like running as hard as I could, I felt free.... free from wrath, free to enjoy my Savior, free to deny my lust! People driving by me must have thought I was psycho... but they weren't listening to what I was listening to! I know my "suffering" is totally self inflicted and therefore isn't really suffering. But in the moment I want so badly to choose the pleasure and comfort of this life, by slowing down. I so badly wanted to WALK! If I chose to give in, there would be regret waiting for me at the end. NO DOUBT! But if I begged the Lord for strength and for perspective... there would be pain, sure.. but there would be a prize at the end! (I am not advocating self inflicted pain as a way to grow in sanctification, with my body pain just comes with running..that's all. But whatever pain the Lord deems nessescary, to trust Him and endure) The joy of giving it my all, knowing that the LORD gave me strength! That is soooo much more worth it! To endure a little while and be satisfied when its over! What's great about suffering is that its temporal. It will end ONE DAY, most likely the same day! I am so thankful, the Lord has given me encouragement and perspective today from His word! I am prone to wander and forget, so feel free to keep reminding me of the Lords goodness and kindness and His accessibility! I hope you enjoy Jesus and worship Him for who He is.. Perfect, sinless! I am so thankful He was willing to suffer for my sake. Man, if one of those cars hit me today... I know where I am going! What a run, woohoo! But man, what a Savior