"Not my will, but Your will be done!"

The Lord is so kind to me!!! He allowed me to hurt my knee in order to test my faith. So I could see my heart!I know He is in control, I know He alone is sovereign, and I know Christ-likeness is my GOOD!

I ended up taking 3 full days off of running due to the abnormal shooting pain in my knee. An unexpected detour in my plans are definitely times where my fears love to show their ugly heads. I was tempted to (yet again) sulk in my "failure" (or having to pull back) and totally disbelieve the Lord is who He says He is. I gave into self pity and have had to repent and act contrary to what my flesh.. that person who was lazy, people pleasing, selfish, dead to spiritual things and unmotivated by Jesus...but have since  been saved and changed from. When i wake up in the mornings my flesh is ready and waiting to punch me in my face.
So with all that said.. you now know a bit more about my personal struggle with pride and Independence... pray for me to be quick to repent and constantly leaning! As of Wednesday, my knee has been totally fine!!! The Lord took away the pain!! Granted , I have ha to slow down a bit... but that doesn't hurt. So i did my mid week longer run yesterday and i did my cross training today. I was listening to John pipers sermon on "How to kill sin". Let me tell you, it was soooo practical! At the end of the message from practically the whole book of Romans, his application was to murder the flesh with the sword of the spirit. Christianity is about killing. Killing MY flesh. Sounds lofty, and churchy... so he continues to say how we actually do this. We obviously use the sword of the spirit (the word) to conquer our sin, and in the moment that simply means we recount and BELIEVE the bible, the great promises of God!!! I must choose to not be hostile towards God but to believe God! To believe whatever the bible says. This stresses the importance of knowing and living in and loving the Word of my God!!! I grow in sanctification the same way i got saved!!!! This was so encouraging to my heart today, so thankful for the word and so eager to get into the word. Ps. 90:12 My days are numbered here. I want so badly to kill my sin of laziness, to kill my desire for self indulgence (or comfort) and to live in the reality that I live in His watchful presence! (Even when I run!!)